I handle stress about as well as a 2yr old handles her toys being taken off her. Not well.
I had this one experience not long ago where everything just seemed to go wrong. It felt like no matter what I did or how much I tried to make it better (with meditation, forgiveness, good thoughts etc) it would not improve. In fact it got worse!
So I switched to complaining, b*tching and getting what I really thought off my chest thinking that maybe that’s what I needed to do. That didn’t work either.
It’s like the universe was literally taking a giant sh*t on my face (Excuse the vulgarity, but that’s exactly what I blurted out to a friend. We both laughed hysterically).
But ya know, it’s inevitable that we’re all gonna have those moments in life when sh*t hits the fan and we just gotta deal with it the best we can.
As you might imagine, that didn’t sit too well with me.
So instead I went looking for (more) solutions.
Maybe you found out your boyfriend has cheated on you or maybe you had a fight with your mother. You could have just made the most epic mistake at work or just seem to have one sh*t thing happening after the other to you. Either way I am proud to announce that I FINALLY discovered a simple (yet effective) way to deal with those experiences.
WARNING: You may not like it because it requires action on your part.
1) Ask yourself, “How did this experience make me feel?”, and write down everything you felt.
Was it anger, frustration or helplessness? Did you feel like you just wanted to burst out in tears? Did you just want to scream or hit something? Get specific and just run it like pure consciousness. This is an insanely awesome exercise to get those deep set feelings off your chest and out of you.
2) Knowing how it made you feel, now write down how would prefer to feel instead.
If this situation could have gone differently, would you have prefered to feel at ease, stressless or relaxed? Would you rather feel at peace or just forget the whole thing? This part of the exercise is crucial to helping you feel better about it.
3) And lastly referring to the previous list, what are 2 – 3 things that you can do right now that would make you feel better?
This is not about finding solutions, it’s about finding a way for YOU to feel better right now. So if you prefered to feel relaxed, maybe you could take a bath or go and get a massage. If you wrote down that you’d be happier if you felt at ease, maybe a meditation session is a great idea or buying yourself some beautiful flowers for your dining room.
This is my instant stress-solver, sure it doesn’t eliminate the actual sh*tty situation that has happened, but it’s never about the situation in the first place. It’s about how YOU feel about what’s happened.
So if you can get yourself into a better feeling place about this stressful experience by using this exercise, you my dear have successfully learned how to think in a completely new way.
Your action plan today is to tell me what is one thing you are going to do to make yourself feel better in your stressful situation. What is something that’d make you feel FANTASTIC right now? I bet it’s not moping in bed!