One day after school as all the kids left, I walked alone to start heading home. I thought nobody was on the playground until I suddenly heard, “Hey Eyenie!”

“Yeah?” I said, looking up.

“You’re pretty!”

Ok…had I just heard that? Elation and giddiness came over me. It turned instantly bitter when the other verbal shoe dropped with, “UGLY! Hahaha! You’re PRETTY UGLY!”

Though I felt humiliated, these boys weren’t telling me anything new, but simply confirming what I already thought about myself.

Though my family has always been supportive and lovely, somehow they inadvertently made me believe that in order to be “enough” I needed to be beautiful, and I saw nothing beautiful about myself.

So, I developed this whole set of beliefs in my head that were based on the assumption, “Eyenie is ugly and not enough.” You can imagine what sorts of other thoughts this lead to…

I tried to exceed in other areas and please everyone as much as possible (which is impossible, let’s face it); it was exhausting. I was the good girl, dutiful, the person you could always count on, no matter how uncomfortable it was for me. I became a self-deprecating doormat and thought that it was much more important to make sure everyone around me was ok. And worst of all, I was always chipper and happy-go-lucky, but didn’t understand how people could feel joy or be happy…

I sure wasn’t! I got small bursts of what seemed like happiness when receiving accolades, or solving problems, or getting approval… all from someone else.

As soon as I finished university I decided to leave Colorado, where I grew up, in order to find happiness. I went to New York. Then Los Angeles. I tried New Orleans, France…I left every place feeling miserable and empty. One day it dawned on me: if all these amazing places and people I was meeting couldn’t make me happy, then something inside of me needed to change!

This simple notion created a huge shift, and I started learning about ways to change from within. I’ve put together a list of the tools that have helped me love myself. They support me on a daily basis so I can R A D I A T E to my fullest potential. Some of my faves are:

1. Do as much as you can from a space of LOVE and not FEAR.

When your decisions are fear-based, you’re not living your truth or stepping into your power or owning your strengths. Stop acting on fear, and love yourself enough to do what’s best for you…even if others don’t like it.

2. “Thoughts are like raindrops. Would you argue with a raindrop?” ~ Byron Katie.

Well, would you? Other people’s thoughts are simply that: other people’s thoughts. They do not define who or what you are, what you can or can’t do, your worth, etc.

3. People don’t make me feel bad; I make myself feel bad!

If someone says something, I can let it hurt me…or, I can remember # 2 and decide not to let someone else’s thought or vision affect me and my experience.

4. Happiness is a choice, and “if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice” ~Rush.

If you’re not feeling happy or joyful, you have the choice to do something that will make you feel good

5. You are beautiful, even if you don’t fit everyone’s standards.

There are many lovely things about you; take the time to pay attention!

6. Your focus creates your reality.

If you only focus on your perceived shortcomings, or what isn’t right in your life, that’s all you will see! When you start focusing on what you do have going for you, and what is right with your life, you’ll find that starts expanding!

7. Allow yourself some “want” and stop “should-ing all over yourself”!

Doing things you LOVE makes you the best possible you! And when you’re that version of yourself, you are a love, abundance, happiness and positivity magnet!

What’s holding you back from feeling beautiful and really living a life you love? How can you take action today, even with a simple mindset shift?

Guest Post by Eyenie Schultz

  • Great title
    Great balloon pic
    Great tips

    All make up a pretty post – pretty nifty!

    Your list of tips can all make a difference if acted on – to use all of them together really can unleash some power!
    Thanks EhJenny,
    Gordon

  • Eyenie, I was also a girl on that same playground being told the same thing. It is hurtful and hard to get those thoughts out of the mind…I have had some events in my life within the past 4 years that I haven't been able to overcome. They have brought me down and I think that I was ay my lowest point in my life a few years ago. I hope that one day I can feel like you do 🙂 you are an inspiration and I thank you for that

  • Eyenie – love all of these tips. The first one is really speaking to me today. "Do as much as you can from a space of LOVE and not FEAR" that feels good, and doable and spacious!

  • Great post and tips and I love your upbeat attitude! Thanks for sharing! Stopping by from UBC!

  • What a fantastic post, Eyenie. Wow! Such sound and powerful advice. Number 1 is probably my biggest challenge, but it's something I'm practicing (and it's taking a lot of practice:).

  • First of all, Eyenie, you are amazingly beautiful!!! And so is your story. What speaks to me most about it is taking responsibility for your own happiness and letting go of worrying about what other people think!

  • Anonymous

    Eyenie,

    Thank you for sharing these tools and your precious story to go with them… I love tool #2 and I had to laugh when I read it because it's so true… who on earth would argue with a raindrop? Insane, right? But we do it all the time. I love Byron Katie, pure brilliance 😉
    Bless you and thanks for sharing a little bit of you with the world.

    Kelly <3

  • Love Byron Katie!! I must say between her and Eckhart my life totally transformed. It's easy to lay around and be depressed. It takes action and effort to create an amazing life. Congratulations for stepping up and embracing your divine greatness (and beauty…amazing picture)!! ♥

  • Thank you so much for the lovely compliment Jeanine!!! I'm so giddy to know my story spoke to you! I am a work-in-progress, but those dark icky days are definitely behind me, THANK THE COSMOS! YAY! 🙂

  • Oh, thank you kindly Kelly! I'm glad you liked it and that #2 gave you a chuckle! It is cray-cray, right?! I appreciate your lovely comment!

  • We meet again, Mr. Gordino! Glad you dig the title! The pic is thanks to Ms. McDowell's impeccable taste. The tips come from my guts, truly. They changed my life like nobody's business, and I hope they can help others!! HOORAH! Thanks for stopping by!

  • Lovely Mrs. Rodriguez, I know you feel me re: *that* playground! The beauty of it all is that they were simply someone else's thoughts…raindrops! YAY! I am rooting for you and am beyond certain that you can feel WOW…the first step is being open to the possibility. Big hugs from this LakeHood rat 😉

  • Heya Christie! YAY! I'm so happy # 1 feels good, doable and spacious! Now, go on and get your LOVE on, yo! Thank you for your comment!! 🙂

  • YAY!! Thank you so much Vanessa! I'm so happy you enjoyed it, and thanks for using the word "upbeat", for I dig it 🙂

  • Thank you oodles Kerry!!! I appreciate it! #1 can indeed be a doozy, but if you keep calling yourself out on it, and asking where you're making your decisions, it can be a mega huge game changer! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! 🙂 pure love to you!

  • I think there were alot of us on that playground… I so appreciate your post! Now I shall explore your site some more 🙂

  • Hi Eyenie! I love your vulnerability in this post! Reading Byron Katie has helped deepen my understanding of our thoughts. I'm going to hot yoga today to nurture myself inside and out:-)Your seven practices are so important.

  • Life is what you make it

  • Life is what you make it